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Plans we can't comprehend

Writer's picture: sammyoliva2sammyoliva2

Updated: Nov 14, 2018

Have you ever had a plan and it didn't go the way you wanted?


It was four weeks ago, I was driving home for the weekend from college and I asked God to give me a challenge. I begged God to test my faith and use it as an opportunity to grow me as a person spiritually and emotionally. Little did I know God had already planned for some inconvenience and sadness to enter into my life, as well a

as the lives of my family...


September 17th at 6:30 AM my father walks in to my room with a somewhat panicked face. He proceeds to tell me that he needs to take my grandma to the emergency room. Now if any of you know my grandmother, she is 95 years old and she is one of the strongest woman I know. After spending 17 hours in the emergency room she eventually was put into a room at the hospital and had to undergo emergency surgery on Wednesday, September 19th.


I remember rushing to the hospital from school that morning watching my grandmother be wheeled out from her room into the operation room. At first glance, I saw tears dripping from my parent's faces, as this might be the last time we see my grandmother because plenty of people have previously told us that she might not make it through surgery due to her age and state. So we did the waiting game and sat in the waiting room for what felt like a year. One by one family members and friends joined us in the waiting room. I looked around and felt so much love and comfort. While those moments of waiting were horrific and long so much beauty came from it as well, because I was able to witness the vulnerability of everyone and the love displayed was astonishing. We have gotten so much closer as a family because of this. It is amazing how God uses our pain and suffering as a way to unite us.


With only being in surgery for two hours, my grandma beat the odds and fought surgery like a champion. However, we knew that it would be a long recovery period and she still has to survive through so much more, but knowing that God was by our sides and how strong she is we were able to proceed with smiles on our faces.

 

Now, I am not going to lie...these past few days have been absolutely brutal and she is continuing to fight for her life while at ICU. However, I'm at peace.


I have had so many people ask me, "How can you be so positive about such a negative situation" my response, "God." I use to be that girl who wanted to control every aspect of my life. However, since 2014 I decided to commit myself to God and I gave my life to Him that day that I was submerged in the water of Christ. I wholeheartedly believe that God has a plan for my life and my grandmother's.

 

Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future'"


 

My grandma was baptized the same day as I was and she has been a follower of Christ ever since. She has attended church with us every weekend and she understands God's unfailing love for her.


God has a plan for her life, there will be a time when God will tell her "Carmen, I am ready for you to come up here in Heaven with me" no one knows when that day is but God does. I can't control this situation... as much as I would love to, I can't. This is all in God's hands and I just need to continue reminding my grandma that I love her and continue to pray for her.


 

Often times we try to control as many aspects of our lives that we can. I get it! I am guilty of doing just that, however, we need to accept the fact that our lives belong to Jesus and He is the one who should tell us what to do. He already has a plan for all of our lives so why fight it? He knows what is best for us always.


If my grandma makes it through this I get to have joy in the fact that I can still see her everyday and compliment how beautiful she is and how much I love her. However, if God is ready to gain another angel and takes her home to Him, then I of course will be sad but deep inside I can have Joy in the fact that she is healthy, happy, and strong as an angel of Christ. It wouldn't be a "goodbye" it would be a "see you later".



 

Dear God,

Thank you so much for all you have done for your children. Thank you for loving us unconditionally and displaying that love to us when you sent your only Son to die for all of our sins. You are a good, good Father and I am so blessed to serve such an amazing Lord. God I pray that you can help who ever is reading this. Lord I pray that they can have full acceptance of your plan for their lives and that they can remain confident in any milestone that comes their way. I love you with all of my heart! It is in Jesus name that I pray.

AMEN!



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3 Comments


kimfreid
Sep 25, 2018

You are amazing and i love you with my whole heart! xo

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circlesofcontrol
Sep 24, 2018

Beautiful...love your perspective.

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kransue
kransue
Sep 24, 2018

Wise beyond your years little one. <3

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